Should I STAY or MOVE ON with someone new?

“Nikita, would you stay on waiting for the one person whom you love despite not knowing if he loves you back or feels the same?”

Honestly, I think answering that question is tougher than my exams.I had a long silent moment when a friend of mine questioned me.He looked at me waiting for my reply and I finally told him:

“Well, it depends on how much you really love and treasure the person. Whether if it’s worth our every time, moment, love, effort and hope. I believe you truly love a person despite…”

My friend then said: “But you can’t go on waiting for him. What if there’s someone better waiting for you? You would miss your chance by not willing to let him go.” I smiled not knowing what to reply at that moment but here I am questioning myself again.

If I were really to be put in a situation where I had to choose between:

a) Wait for the one person whom I love despite not knowing the progress of our relationship or if he shares mutual feelings towards me?

or

b) Just move on & find someone new. Perhaps start a new relationship with someone else?

As I reflect back on my past experiences of my “crush/lovers”, I often find myself waiting for a person but also moving on after a while. The reason why I waited for them is that I realized I’m quite a loyal person even though I may or may not be in a relationship. I find myself clinging on because of their amazing qualities and values in the person I love/ admire attracts me that I often think I may not find someone else better than them. Therefore, I hold onto them because I treasure and value their uniqueness.

On the other hand, I may have waited long for their reply to allow time to let me move on but later realized I never told them how I truly feel for them to even give them a chance to share their thoughts & feelings to me. I kept most of my vulnerable feelings in me because I was afraid of what the other person would say. Perhaps the fear of rejection might’ve stopped me from being truly open to them or I was afraid their response did not fit to my expectations. Thus, my past “lovers” never knew my deepest feelings. Sometimes I wonder perhaps if I were to truly express my feelings clearly, will things turn out different?

After all, I believe things happened for a reason and it is always for the best. With each experience, it brings us closer to the truth of discovering our inner self. I came to an understanding that what is meant to be will be. (We shall talk more about it in the next post).

Back to the topic on deciding if we should let someone we love go?

There are so many “doubts” and “what if” when it comes to truly choose whether if we should let go of someone we love or not. We fear if we let them go, we might lose them. If we want them to stay, we seem too desperate or clingy. What should we do?

“Let a person go. If they’re meant to be with us, we will find ourselves back in each other’s life.”

It is true at some point if both are aware of each other’s feelings towards one another. If we truly love someone despite everything that does not meet our expectations, their happiness is ours. Therefore, we set them free.

Should I hold on or move on?

There are a few considerations to think of whether if we should wait for the one who we love to be together. I think the first step is to be clear on our feelings towards the person whom we love or interested in exploring a life together. First, express our feelings & thoughts clearly to them instead of suppressing our true feelings. Often our logical mind would do the talking, for it fears of rejection. When it comes to our feelings, quiet down our mind & allow our heart to speak. It is from our heart that the truth is spoken.

Without expressing & sharing our feelings to the one we love, we wouldn’t know if we share mutual feelings towards one another. Who knows, perhaps they feel the same towards us.

  • Be very clear & honest of our feelings.

How do we know when to move on?

It took us so much courage to express our deepest feeling, later on, find ourselves sobbing and crying because our heart has been broken. Perhaps this might be the most devastating part if we find ourselves having deep affections or caught feelings towards a person. I would say- time is the essence.As time goes by, we find ourselves not only heal but we’ve grown so much as a person through the tough times. Often when we know thyself, we know what are our desires, intentions and wants. We understand why things have to happen the way it is. With time, we’ll begin to know if the person is the right one for us.

What if I can’t seem to let go? Do I find someone new?

I believe what is meant to be, it will be. If the person is the right one for us, no matter what we will find ourselves back to each other. If not, we will be with someone who we each compliment one another. Likewise, time is the essence. Give ourselves all the time we need. Instead of focusing so much on a person we love, thinking if they feel the same/not or finding someone else, spend time with ourselves. The first person whom we need to love is ourselves. Once we’ve learned how to love and know thyself well, the right person will come. LOVE THYSELF FIRST.

My message to us:

We often find ourselves trying to find love from others. In fact, the love we need lies within ourselves. The word love has been misused and redefined in many ways. True love, in fact, it is just love. There’s no hatred, judgment, possession nor anger or jealousy. What makes love painful is because of our ego. Sometimes we find ourselves wanting to love but is our love based on our self-lessness or egoistic self?

Once we know & love thyself well, the right person will come into our life. Our soul will recognise the person who is truly meant for us. Need not fear nor rush into a relationship, the right person will waltz their way into our life at the right time. Meanwhile, focus on giving love to the person who needs it the most – YOU.

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