Does your “Herd” defines you?

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase

“You’re the average of 5 people you hang out with.. ”

I stumbled upon one of my good friendpost on Instagram. Her caption was

” You’re the average of 5 people you hang out with”

My friend then called me up & asking if the statement is true?

You’re the average of the 5 people you spend with. She said she was afraid because the closest people around her may affect her that’s why she cut so many people in her life especially those who’re negative & what about the one we love most?

I said:” indeed it’s true the people around you might have an affect of who you are & influence you.” Instead it doesn’t have to be average 5 even 3 is enough to affect you. ”

Again it goes back down to having self-awareness. I’m so glad my friend was aware that the people she love and closest with might be affecting her true self & character.

And then I said, the reason behind why you’re the average five you spend with is because those people are the closest with you & you choose to spend most of your time with.

As human beings, we tend to be a sheep in a herd. When a herd does something, we’re consciously not aware & tend to follow especially we’re the follower of people who tend to have an authority. ( This is not something I made up! It’s true. Will reference it down below ๐Ÿ˜‰

But that’s okay! As long as you’ve self-awareness, you can stop and say :” hey wait a minute, why am I following the herd into a black hole.”

Once you step out from the group & you’ll see a bigger brighter picture again.

So does the average five people you spend with defines who you are?

I guess only you can decide whether you want them to influence you or not.

You’ve the power to let them influence you or you making the good influence on them.

It’s very much depending on individuals. How strong your self-awareness is and how well you know truly know you.

At the end of our conversation, I told my friend. As long as you’re
aware of your actions & know yourself well

, these average five people you spend with may or may not affect you.

The choices are in your own hand.

I want you to ponder upon this question

“Are you in of the average 5 people you spend the most time with

Or the average 5 people you spend the most time with is YOU!

Note for the day:

Your vibe attracts your tribe.

Those who does not share the same vibe will slowly drift apart.

Be positive, have kindness, compassion and happiness.

The world is in need of our love and compassion.

Reference list :

People are like sheeps.

For those who would like to see my video on this topic:


  1. Tremblay on September 12, 2020 at 3:29 pm

    First off I would like to say excellent blog! I had a quick question which I’d
    like to ask if you don’t mind. I was interested to know how you center yourself and clear your head prior to writing.
    I’ve had difficulty clearing my thoughts in getting
    my ideas out. I do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are generally wasted simply just trying to figure out how to begin.
    Any suggestions or hints? Kudos!

    • Nikita Then on September 17, 2020 at 4:10 pm

      Hi there,
      Thank you very much for taking the time to read my blogpost too.

      As cliche as it sounds but I really do just write as I go by tuning into my feelings. Often if I don’t feel like writing or have to force myself to write, that’s when I know NOT TO WRITE. And I do know that writers or bloggers have the pressure to write the perfect content. The most important thing is not about “perfecting” the content but it is how you could truly express how you feel through writing. I hope that makes sense ๐Ÿ˜€

      Honestly, I’m still learning too. So please do let me know if this helps! Just write as you go and be in tune with the flow of writing. Eventually, you’ll be able to write with flow ๐Ÿ˜‰

      1. Write as you go
      2.Enjoy the process
      3. Be in flow with your feeling and ideas

      Lots of love & light,
      Nikita Then

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